Favorite Comedy Quotes
Let's just start at the bottom and work our way back up to the top!Kermit
[seeking a match for her teacher] Unfortunately, There was a major babe drought at my school. The evil trolls from the math department were actually married and in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.Cher
Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let's fuck to celebrate.Saddam Hussein
This is my one chance at happiness. I have to be ruthless!Julianne Potter
I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too.Thurgood Jenkins
I wish I were big.Young Josh
Boon: I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl.
Pinto: Look, you don't have to...
Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.
Katy: You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.
Boon: Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.
Boon: What'd I say?
You put *your* junk in reverse!Phil Foster
Lord Wessex: I cannot shed blood in her house, but I will cut your throat anon. Do you have a name?
William Shakespeare: Christopher Marlowe, at your service.
Go ahead and sleep on the power couch. Your training begins tomorrow, at the crack of noon.KG
[as all the knights start hailing him] No. Nooo, Noooo... noooo! NOOOOOO!Ash
Coleman: Would you like a sip of whiskey?
Billy Ray Valentine: I do not drink, it is against my religion!
Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.