Favorite Comedy Quotes
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I - I find your accent quite funny. Where are you fvam?
Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [mocking him] "do-do-do-ba-ba-lo"
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You need to work on your accent.
God bless the Internet.Finch
Miles Finch: [pitching ideas] No tomatoes. Too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.
Walter: See, I told you guys. I told them the same thing...
Miles Finch: And no farms. Everyone's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.
Our idiot brother just ruined my freaking life!Natalie
[dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.Brad Hamilton
I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake!Van Wilder
Thurgood Jenkins: Smoke-Alot opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters. It was ridiculous, he told me about his lawyer...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: He had sex with my momma! Why?
Thurgood Jenkins: Spirituality...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: God, if you listenin', help!...
Thurgood Jenkins: His bad back...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: The doctor said I need a backiotomy.
Thurgood Jenkins: His love life...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, biatch!
[pushes girl aside]
Thurgood Jenkins: I mean, talk about a guy with problems.
Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!
Buddy: Especially when we build toys!
Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.Angel Stripper
Honey, don't give me that "all for one" shit. I got to deal with being a minority in a minority of a minority, and nobody supports my ass.Hooper
Hugo Posh: Kelly! What do we say?
Kelly: Fuck you.
Hugo Posh: Always with the big words.
Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.