Favorite Comedy Quotes
I have always respected redheads as members of a hair color minority.Elle
Elle: Ughhh. All day long I felt like white open-toed shoes after Labor Day.
Sid: I hate that feeling, whatever that means.
Your dogs are gay!Dog Spa receptionist
Don't worry Bob I'll get her. And her little dog too.Rep. Rudd
Elle I don't care where I marry just as long as I do. I do... I do... feels good.Emmett
Rep. Rudd: You can't get people to care.
Elle: Watch me.
Stanford Marks: You're the girl with the perfumed poo-poo bags, aren't you?
Elle: Actually I'm the woman with the scented waste receptacles, but yes.
Sid: Welcome, to the Wellington, ma'am.
Elle: It's a thrill to be here.
Legalize itDeputy Clementine Johnson
Your watch is stuck in my pubes.Deputy Trudy Wiegel
I became a police officer because my doctor told me I needed to get out of the house more.Deputy Trudy Wiegel
Can't you just give me a pitty fuck?Deputy Trudy Wiegel