Favorite Comedy Quotes
Jack Byrnes: Oh, geez. I just thought of something.
Dina Byrnes: What?
Jack Byrnes: Pam's middle name.
Dina Byrnes: Martha... Oh, no.
Jack Byrnes, Dina Byrnes: Pamela Martha Focker.
...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?
Lt. Frank Drebin
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Yale
Sometimes I like to think that the pants got lost on purpose. That this was their final gift to us. Bringing us back together. Back to a place of forgiveness, and love, and in understanding that what we shared was all the magic we could ever need. And as we spent those last few moments of summer, looking out at the blending of sea and sky, I realized it was a color I knew very well. The softly faded, essential blue of a well worn pair of pants. The pants had brought us together again. The rest is in our hands.
Carmen Lowell
We must be... must be a misunderstanding. I was sent down here for the big case. For the kidnapping. The little girl?
Carter
Janey: Jake! How did you get in here? I thought Dad bolted the door.
Jake: There's a big hole in the side of your house.
Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a sword fish almost went through my head"? If so, then yes.
Dr. Gonzo: This is it. Lacerda. Room 208.
Raoul Duke: [eyes askance] Huh? Lacerda?
Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, man. Lacerda...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] I couldn't remember. The name rang a bell but I couldn't concentrate. Terrible things were happening all around me.
It seems like Banky has a problem with all things not hetero.
Hooper
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: Okay.
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!
Lou
What if we do a, uh, a different holiday around the table, Easter, and just focus on the rabbit?
Whitney Taylor Brown
