Favorite Comedy Quotes
Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!Donkey
Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A!Mr. Burke
That is a sucker punch to the gonads.Maxwell Smart
Dewey Finn: Katie, what was that thing you were playing today, the big thing?
Dewey Finn: Ok. This is a bass guitar. And it's the exact same thing but instead of playing it like this you tip it on the side... cello, you got a bass.
And we were dressed from head to toe in love... the only label that never goes out of style.Carrie Bradshaw
Royal: Everyone's against me.
Pagoda: It's your fault, man.
Royal: I know but dammit, I want this family to love me. How much money you got?
Pagoda: I don't have.
Royal: What? You're broke? You gotta be kidding me! How are we gonna pay for this room?
Jane: I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?
Frank: Very hot, and awfully wet.
If you're doing something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you.Duncan
Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!French Soldier
Since when does a queen need an excuse to sing?Thom
Coakley: We're going to run my favorite play. Starts with a p. And ends with an *ssy.
Fred: What is it?
Henry: So, do you work here?
Beth: Yeah, I'm the Camp Director. You?
Henry: Me, no, I don't work here.
Beth: No, yeah, I'm the camp director... I would know if you worked here.
Henry: Oh, right.