Favorite Comedy Quotes
Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits.
James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.
Lee: Mushu, you hungry?
James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.
What was that? Did you just pick up another case? Did we just take another damn case on my vacation?James Carter
What in the hell is going on up in here? Am I the only one listening to this? The man destroyin' a classic! BOO!James Carter
Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.
College women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.Joel Goodson
Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.Miles
Say "what the fuck" ... If you can't say it, you can't do it.Miles
[to Joel] Are you ready for me... Ralph?Lana
[in his dream] Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the babysitter.Joel's Mother
Joel Goodson: So is this Guido guy... he's your manager?
Lana: That's right.
Joel Goodson: Or a pimp?
Lana: Now that's quick Joel. Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?
Sometimes you just gotta say "what the heck."Joel's Father
Joel Goodson: You know, Bill, there's one thing I learned in all my years. Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fuck. Make your move."
Rutherford: I beg your pardon?