Say "what the fuck" ... If you can't say it, you can't do it.

Miles

[to Joel] Are you ready for me... Ralph?

Lana

[in his dream] Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the babysitter.

Joel's Mother

Joel Goodson: So is this Guido guy... he's your manager?
Lana: That's right.
Joel Goodson: Or a pimp?
Lana: Now that's quick Joel. Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?

Sometimes you just gotta say "what the heck."

Joel's Father

Joel Goodson: You know, Bill, there's one thing I learned in all my years. Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fuck. Make your move."
Rutherford: I beg your pardon?

Joel Goodson: Uh, my name isn't really Ralph. It's Joel.
Lana: Mmm. I'll be needing 300 dollars. Joel.
Joel Goodson: You're kidding.
Lana: No, I don't believe that I am.

Joel Goodson: Well, uh, it's just that I don't have that much here in the house.
Lana: How much do you have?
Joel Goodson: I have 50 dollars.
Lana: 50 dollars? What are we going to do about this, Joel?
Joel Goodson: I don't know. Could I send it to you?
Lana: [incredulous] Could you send it to me?
Joel Goodson: [long pause] I, uh, have a bond at the bank. I could go cash that.
Lana: I'm not real good at waiting.
Joel Goodson: I'll be quick.

Miles: So your parents are going out of town. You got the place all to yourself.
Joel Goodson: Yeah.
Miles: What the fuck.

It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four-letter word.

Joel Goodson

Let me give you a little advice so you know. In times of economic uncertainty, never ever fuck with another man's livelihood. Go have fun now. You know fun, time of your life? Maybe if you follow that, I won't have to come back here.

Guido

Joel Goodson: [voiceover] The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are *you* doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.

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