Michael Newman: My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that.
Trudy: It couldn't have gotten any smaller.
Ted: [Laughing] It looked like a litttle Tic Tac.
Michael Newman: Yeah, come, here, I'll freshen your breath.

Carter Duryea: [Carter and Alex meet in an elevator] 47. Are you going to Sports America offices?
Alex Foreman: Yeah.
Carter Duryea: You an intern or something?
Alex Foreman: Uh, no, my dad works there.
Carter Duryea: Oh.
Alex Foreman: Are you interning there?
Carter Duryea: No, I'm starting a job there today.
Alex Foreman: That's good. Congratulations.
Carter Duryea: Oh, thank you. I'm totally scared shitless. I have no idea what I'm doing. Don't tell anyone, okay?
Alex Foreman: Okay.


Tracy Turnblad

Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body?
Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.

Wallace: Reach for the sky, O'Bannon, ha ha!
Roy O'Bannon: That's my line. He stole my gang, he's stealing my lines. It's unbelievable!

Talk Show Producer: No respected psychic will come on this show. They all think you're a fraud.
Peter Venkman: I am a fraud!

If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.

Van Wilder

[Rob turns off Barry's tape]
Barry: OK, buddy, uh, I was just tryin' to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care.
Rob: I don't wanna hear old sad bastard music, Barry, I just want something I can ignore.
Barry: Here's the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for *you*... special.
Rob: Well, it's fuckin' Monday afternoon! You should get out of bed earlier!

You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!

Andy Stitzer

Lucy: If I tell?
Fanny: I can assure you, I'm as silent as the grave.

Kyle: WUUUUaaahh! WUUUaaaaahhhhh!
Soldier: Hey, you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe's dying over there!

Doug Madsen: Remember the theme of this trip, whenever wherever?
Woody Stevens: Oh, fine, whatever. We'll stay the night and get gas in the morning. Okay?
Doug Madsen: Fine, I just don't understand what the rush is.
Woody Stevens: There's no rush! I just wanna ride, just ride Sally ride. You are so weird! You ask some weird shit and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?

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