Favorite Comedy Quotes
That fuckin' bitch just can't run away because she don't want to screw on film anymore!Kelly
Well, I don't speak a foreign language, so that's out. And I can't quote John F. Kennedy now, can I, Ryan?Matthew
Samnang: He fucked me, Mum. He fuck me real bad.
Samnang's Mother: That son of a bitch!
Karate Guy in Porno: Oooh, excellent, grasshopper. And now for your final task of your training.
Danielle: You're gonna need a harder piece of wood that that, cowboy.
Matthew: That's not her.
Eli: Yeah, it is.
Matthew: Oh, no.
Matthew: Why are you doing this?
Danielle: Isn't that what you want? To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel? So this is what you really think of me.
Matt: But then Samnang won't get his money!
Kelly: It's funny, you say that like I care. I don't give a shit!
What the fuck is this shit?Kelly
Ow, you fat penguin!Elwood
Ya see, me and the Lord have an understanding.Jake
Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.Curtis
Mrs. Murphy: Help you two?
Elwood: Do you have any white bread ma'am?
Mrs. Murphy: Yeah.
Elwood: I'll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that, honey?
Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
Jake: Do you have any fried chicken ma'am?
Mrs. Murphy: Best damned chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Mrs. Murphy: Ya'all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma'am.
Jake: A Coke.