Favorite Comedy Quotes
Eli: Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.
Matthew: Eli, you're never going to see her again.
Eli: Oh, you know what? Fine!
Eli: Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! Fuck her for me! For me!
[makes out with Danielle]
Mr. Peterson: [while getting lap dance] So, what was the scholarship for?
Matthew: Moral fiber.
I'm in so much trouble.Matthew
Dude, am I ugly?Klitz
[to Klitz] I know this isn't professional, but I think you're really cute.April
Danielle: Thank you.
Matthew: For what?
Danielle: I never went to prom.
April: Is your name really Clitz?
Klitz: Yeah, with a K.
Ferrari: Your name is Klitz?
Klitz: With a K.
Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.Kelly
Hi, I'm all wet. Can I come in?Danielle