Favorite Comedy Quotes
Elwood: Baby clothes...
Jake: This place has got everything.
Matt Murphy: But babes, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
Mrs. Murphy: The Blues Brothers? Shiiit! They still owe you money, fool. You're livin' with me now. You ain't goin' back out on the road and playin' them old two-bit sleazy dives, and y'ain't gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if we told you that what we're asking Matthew to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: We're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are gonna turn around and walk right out of here - without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt 'Guitar' Murphy!
Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city of Chicago.
Jake: How much?
Ray: 2,000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.
Jake: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Hold it, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all my life.
Use of any unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers... has been approved.
Police Dispatcher
Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.
Burton Mercer
[after crashing into a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!
Elwood
Burton Mercer: [speaking into radio] Hi, this is car um... What number are we?
Officer Mount: Five-five.
Burton Mercer: [to radio] Car 55. Um... we're in a truck!
Elwood: This is definitely Lower Wacker Drive! If my estimations are correct, we should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!
Jake: That's where they got that Picasso.
Elwood: Yep.
They broke my watch!
Trooper La Fong
Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.
Elwood
[drives the Bluesmobile through a guardrail]
We would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...
Elwood
