Favorite Comedy Quotes
Matt Murphy: But babes, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
Mrs. Murphy: The Blues Brothers? Shiiit! They still owe you money, fool. You're livin' with me now. You ain't goin' back out on the road and playin' them old two-bit sleazy dives, and y'ain't gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if we told you that what we're asking Matthew to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: We're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are gonna turn around and walk right out of here - without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt 'Guitar' Murphy!
Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city of Chicago.
Jake: How much?
Ray: 2,000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.
Jake: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Hold it, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all my life.
Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.
Burton Mercer
[after crashing into a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!
Elwood
Burton Mercer: [speaking into radio] Hi, this is car um... What number are we?
Officer Mount: Five-five.
Burton Mercer: [to radio] Car 55. Um... we're in a truck!
Elwood: This is definitely Lower Wacker Drive! If my estimations are correct, we should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!
Jake: That's where they got that Picasso.
Elwood: Yep.
They broke my watch!
Trooper La Fong
Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.
Elwood
[drives the Bluesmobile through a guardrail]
We would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...
Elwood
Jake: Maury, we need $5,000 fast.
Maury Sline: $5,000? Who do you guys think you are, The Beatles?
That Night Train's a mean wine.
Jake
