Let's go play machete fight. Ain't no terrible tradgedy's gonna happen today!


Banky: God, I'm so embarrassed.
Hooper: You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again.

Leo: [to Ulla] We might have a position for you.
Max: Actually, we might have several positions for you.

Morons... your bus is leaving.


Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No, they all share one.

If he were feeling what I'm feeling then he would know how it feels.

Julianne Potter

I'll tell you what. Why don't we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay.

Billy Hoyle

You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the BIG TOE is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

Sergeant Hulka

Lena: How do you say "lost pants" in Greek?
Yia Yia: Greek girls do not lose their pants!

Lord Wessex: Is she obedient?
Sir Robert de Lesseps: As any mule in Christendom - but if you are the man to ride her, there are rubies in the saddlebag.
Lord Wessex: I like her!

Your watch is stuck in my pubes.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

All right right, whaddya need? Bottle rockets, dental dams, Redi Wips, term papers?


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