Favorite Comedy Quotes
Well, everyone at work went to TGI Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.Kit
Kit: Good news. It's Champagne Thursday.
Paula: It's Friday.
Kit: Uh, yeah, it came twice this week.
Paula: For the third straight week.
Kit: There's talk of making it permanent.
Paula: Oh, kind of like Daylight Saving's Time?
Kit: Right, but for booze.
Kit: Yeah, everyone from work went to T.G.I. Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.
Paula: Oh good, so then we can stay in and watch one of those drinking movies you like.
Kit: [sarcastically] Yeah!
Jim The Gun Salesman: [persuading her not to buy a large gun and bullet to shoot a mockingbird] First of all, there's this book, "To Kill A Mockingbird"...
Kit: Copy that too, just put that book right here!
Tripp: [has just agreed to go out to lunch with her the next day] Hey, wait - tomorrow's Saturday.
Paula: [perplexed] ... Sometimes I eat on Saturday.
Tripp: [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears] Well, hey, Ace. We thought you gave up and went home.
Ace: [dropping to the ground, exhausted] No. I fell into a deep, dark crevice. It was scary.
Ace: At least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent.
Demo: Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth!
The tall one? He just got fired from Kinko's.Paula
Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?Rita
Chicken! September 22nd would be a good day for chicken!Evan Baxter
Rita: Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft? Did you just come out of a coma?
Evan Baxter: No.
Rita: Were you attacked by a werewolf?
Evan Baxter: No, I wasn't.
[to Remy] You were the one getting fancy with the spices!Linguini