Favorite Comedy Quotes
Just go with it.Danielle
Woman: [voiceover] How do you want me?
Man: Oh, that's good. Yeah. Just, uh... just get comfortable.
Woman: I'm a little nervous.
Man: Nah, you're doing great.
Danielle: Ooh, boxers.
Matthew: I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day.
What's the craziest thing you've done lately?Danielle
Matthew: Oh my god, she's so hot.
Eli: What channel, dude?
Matthew: Do you have the fever?
Klitz: No. Why? Do you?
Matthew: I don't know. Maybe.
[turns to Eli]
Matthew: How 'bout you?
Eli: I just gotta fuck something.
Man, there is some talent here. You get those girls together with those assbags right there and shoot 'em humping at, like, a football game or at a prom, that video would sell. Fuck, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it.Kelly
Film School Student: Why'd you skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?
Eli: Shut the fuck up. Next question.
Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was 10.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on...
Kelly: Cool ride huh?
Jock # 1: Yeah... if you're a fag!
Kelly: [throws jock to the ground] Get in!
Matthew: I just feel so weird...
Danielle: Shh. Relax. Ecstasy is not that bad.
Danielle: Kelly likes dosing people with E.
Matthew: Oh, my God. Am I gonna die?
[realizing Matt has accidentally taken E] Oh, my God, this is gonna be amazing!Eli