Favorite Comedy Quotes
It's a fucking barn. We'll never fill it.Mr. Fabulous
Me and Elwood are gonna make a break for it. Take $1,400 and give it to Ray's Music Exchange in Calumet City. Give the rest to the band.Jake
Don't be lost when the time comes, for the day of the Lord cometh like a thief in the night.Reverend Cleophus James
Jake: $2,000 for this chunk of shit?
Murph: I mean, honestly Ray. It's used, there's no action left in this keyboard.
Ray: I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this keyboard.
Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?Ray
Anyone with a police record that long is going to make a mistake. I want all party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county, and state police on their CB's. Sooner or later, Mr. Elwood Blues is gonna fuck up and when he does... he'd better pray that the police get to him before we do.Head Nazi
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-assed monkey suits.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: I say we give the blues brothers one more chance
Donald 'Duck' Dunn: Why not? If the shit fits, wear it.
Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner... every day of the week.
Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. You got me. I'll play.
Elwood: We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Jake: This don't look like no expressway to me, pal.
Elwood: Don't yell at me.
Jake: Well whadda you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Why da ya gotta be so negative all the time? Why can't ya offer some... constructive criticism?
Jake: You got us into to this parking lot, pal, so YOU get us out.
Elwood: You want outta this parking lot?... O.K.
Burton Mercer: This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode of one Elwood Blues.
Officer Mount: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Mercer.
Burton Mercer: You know, I kind of like the Wrigley Field bit.
Officer Mount: Yeah, real cute.
Don't you say a fucking word.Tucker McElroy