Favorite Comedy Quotes
I missed the whole Dragon Tales Era?Michael Newman
Michael Newman: Sorry, i'm late , sir. Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so...
Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo, Drive red Lamborghini.
Michael Newman: Red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: Daddy, how much longer are you going to live?
Michael Newman: [to cellphone] One minute.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: One minute?
Trudy: Hey, Micheal. Micheal, who are you talking to?
Michael Newman: Jesus. I'm talking to my boss, Ma. Take it easy.
Trudy: Oh, yeah? Well, tell him to get a life. You got family here. You're busy. Come on.
Michael Newman: My mother says hello.
Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.Michael Newman
Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you.Morty
Morty: [standing at Ted's, Michael's dad's, grave] He was a good man. I'm sorry, Michael. I didn't want to take him.
Michael Newman: What?
Morty: Michael, I'm an angel.
Michael Newman: I thought angels were supposed to protect people.
Morty: I'm the Angel of Death.
Morty: [Morty and Michael go back to the past to Michael's birth, Michael's parents were arguing if he had a penis or not] Your mom must've had a good eyesight cause I didnt see anything.
Michael Newman: Haha very funny.
Michael Newman: [trying to convince him to let the project be procrastinated so he can go camping] Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?
Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.
Morty: [while Michael is about to call him] Yes?
Michael Newman: [jumps back and lands on the table] You scared the...
Donna Newman: Honey, what's going on down there?
Michael Newman: I, uh, it was a mouse! It's dead, I killed it, it just broke the table first.
Michael Newman: You've gotta show me how you do the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy!
Ted: A good magician never reveals his secrets... however, if you invite us over for dinner more often...
Michael Newman: You can come over tomorrow night and the next night and the next night and whenever you want!
Evan Baxter: [Looks into rear view mirror, sees God sitting there] Aaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
God: Let it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom.