Favorite Comedy Quotes
Jim The Gun Salesman: [persuading her not to buy a large gun and bullet to shoot a mockingbird] First of all, there's this book, "To Kill A Mockingbird"...
Kit: Copy that too, just put that book right here!
Tripp: [has just agreed to go out to lunch with her the next day] Hey, wait - tomorrow's Saturday.
Paula: [perplexed] ... Sometimes I eat on Saturday.
Tripp: [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears] Well, hey, Ace. We thought you gave up and went home.
Ace: [dropping to the ground, exhausted] No. I fell into a deep, dark crevice. It was scary.
Ace: At least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent.
Demo: Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth!
The tall one? He just got fired from Kinko's.Paula
Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?Rita
Chicken! September 22nd would be a good day for chicken!Evan Baxter
Rita: Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft? Did you just come out of a coma?
Evan Baxter: No.
Rita: Were you attacked by a werewolf?
Evan Baxter: No, I wasn't.
[to Remy] You were the one getting fancy with the spices!Linguini
Always remember, life is not how many breaths you take, it's how many moments take your breath away.Hitch
"Coquille St. Jacques." Death on a leaf!Hitch
Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom.Hitch