Favorite Comedy Quotes
Sig Poliakoff: You're the wrong shape. Goodbye!
Joe: What are you looking for - hunchbacks or something?
Sig Poliakoff: It's not the backs that worry me.
Son, you got a panty on your head.Hayseed
Kelly: Cool ride huh?
Jock # 1: Yeah... if you're a fag!
Kelly: [throws jock to the ground] Get in!
Raoul Duke: Yeah. Hi there! My name... is, uh, Raoul Duke. I'm on the list, that's for sure. Here to cover the race. I have my attorney... with me, and I realize that his name is not on that list, but we must have that suite! What's the score here? What's next?
Frog-Eyed Woman: Your suite isn't ready yet. But someone was looking for you...
Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
It's not who you love, it's how.Holden
It's a glow-in-the-dark compass ring. So you don't get lost.Josh
Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve Zissou: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.
Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.Herman Blume
Ron Albertson: I'd wish they'd at least give us a line. I made some suggestions...
Sheila: We should be line-DANCING.
Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.