Favorite Comedy Quotes
[to Remy] You were the one getting fancy with the spices!Linguini
Always remember, life is not how many breaths you take, it's how many moments take your breath away.Hitch
"Coquille St. Jacques." Death on a leaf!Hitch
Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom.Hitch
Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along.Sara
I want to jump in front of every cab I see, because maybe then I'll stop thinking about her.Albert
Albert: Honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. I'm going out of my mind. I want to throw myself off every building in New York. I see a cab and I want to dive in front of it because that way I'll stop thinking about her.
Hitch: You will just give it time.
Albert: That's just it. I don't want to I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. If this is the only way I can stay connected with her then this is who I have to be.
Hitch: [talking about when kissing going 90 per cent then he goes 10] All right show me the magic.
[going to kiss Hitch]
Hitch: [after being kissed] What the hell?
Albert: Well, you said show me the magic
Hitch: Yeah, but you go 90 then I go 10. You don't go the whole hundred, you over-eager son of a... BLECH!
Sara: What's your name?
Chip: They call me Chip.
Sara: Aw, you can't get 'em to stop?
Josh: Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. God.
Billy: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Billy: You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
Josh: You don't get it, do you? This is important!
Billy: I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh?
[Turns to leave]
Billy: And I'm three months older than you are, ASSHOLE!
Susan: I want to spend the night with you.
Josh: Do you mean sleep over?
Susan: Well... yeah.
Josh: Well, okay... but I get to be on top.
It's a glow-in-the-dark compass ring. So you don't get lost.Josh