Favorite Comedy Quotes
Is what you want for yourself to become someone very different than me?Flor Moreno
[gleefully] Rome wasn't burned in a night.Joe
You guys here for the suck-fest?Motel Owner
Lois Einhorn: And somebody get me some coffee!
Ace Ventura: Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss some coffee
Lord Wessex: I cannot shed blood in her house, but I will cut your throat anon. Do you have a name?
William Shakespeare: Christopher Marlowe, at your service.
Go ahead and sleep on the power couch. Your training begins tomorrow, at the crack of noon.KG
One day you'll be cool. Look under your bed, it'll set you free.Anita Miller
Tony D'Annunzio: Give me a coke.
Danny Noonan: One coke.
[gives Tony a bottle of Coke and 50 cents]
Tony D'Annunzio: Hey wait a minute. That's only 50 cents.
Danny Noonan: Yeah well Lou raised the price of coke he's been losing at the track.
Tony D'Annunzio: Well I ain't paying no 50 cents for no coke.
Danny Noonan: Oh then you ain't getting no coke. Know what I'm talking about?
Jerry: Hey, great gift dad.
Fletcher: Thanks son. I'm so glad my gift can bring the two of them together. My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.Holden
Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica Sawyer: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.
My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. My safety's Harvard.Max Fischer