Favorite Comedy Quotes
Doug Madsen: Did he just say "cracker"?
Dudley Frank: "Cracker-ass."
Doug Madsen: Oh, perfect.
[to Val] Well, thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.Rhonda LeBeck
Woody Stevens: That's not a discussion.
Dudley Frank: Yeah, that's a lawsuit.
I think I have a plan. Why don't we throw a bomb the way we want to go and then when it goes off, we run like goddamn bastards! [silence] Pardon my French.Rhonda LeBeck
Del Fuegos! Hide the bikes! Quick!Woody Stevens
Pardon my French!Earl Bassett
Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole.Bobby Davis
Earl Bassett: Stupid son-of-a-bitch, knocked itself cold!
Valentine McKee: Cold, my ass, he's dead! We killed it. We killed it! Fuck you!
Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.
Dudley Frank: Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.
It's ok. I just hit my face!Dudley Frank
Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids!
Valentine McKee: They're mutations caused by radiation. No, wait; the government made 'em. Big surprise for the Russians.
Rhonda LeBeck: Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record... Okay, so they predate the fossil record. [pauses] That'd make them a couple of billion years old... and we've just never seen one until now. Right.
Earl Bassett: I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.