Favorite Comedy Quotes
Chip Douglas: Call it one guy doing another guy a solid.
Steven Kovacs: That is so nice!
Chip Douglas: Well you're a nice guy! You'd be surprised how many customers treat me like snot, like I'm a goddamn plumber or somethin'.
I think you will find me a slasher... of prices!Simon Skinner
John Clasky: Think seriously about getting up. You don't have to get up right now, but are you thinking seriously about it?
Jack Ryan: Are you serious? You really wanna box?
Nancy Hayes: If I win, you show me how to steal a car. If you win, I do whatever you want. Put em up!
Jack Ryan: You grow up on a marine base?
Nancy Hayes: Don't use the, "I've never hit a girl" excuse.
Jack Ryan: I've never hit a girl.
[Nancy hits him in the head]
Jack Ryan: Don't be hitting me in my head when I'm not looking. You just awakened a sleeping giant.
Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one's head.
Vanessa Kensington: No.
Austin Powers: That's not the way to get ahead in life.
Vanessa Kensington: No.
Austin Powers: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.
Vanessa Kensington: Hmm.
Austin Powers: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.
Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that'll do.
Austin Powers: Okay.
Mary Embrey: Whatever we are, we're built in twos. We're drawn together. No matter how far I run, he's always there! He finds me. It's physics.
Ray Embrey: Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together?
Mary Embrey: I've lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I learned - fate doesn't decide everything. People get to choose.
Jack Ryan: There's no beer in the fridge.
Nancy Hayes: Look in the cabinet.
Jack Ryan: In the cabinet? What are you, British?
Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.Mike Damone
You better get your ass off your shoulders and make that money.Craig Jones
Erica Barry: I'm... I'm sorry.
Harry: For what?
Erica Barry: I... I just kissed you.
Harry: No, honey. I kissed you.
Valentine McKee: Come on you two, let's go, we're headed for the mountains!
Burt Gummer: [Grabs a bag of weapons] If that's how we're doin it, we're going prepared!
Kyle: You cant die! We don't know where we are!
The Mole: You must go on...
Kyle: No, we have no fucking clue where we are!