Favorite Comedy Quotes
Cabbie: Let's get this thing movin'! What the hell is your problem?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Shut your pie hole, we're working here!
Laura: I'm too tired not to be with you.
Rob: What, so if you had a bit more energy we'd stay split up, but things being as they are, with you being wiped out and all, you want to get back together? Is that it?
Brooke: You're crazy.
Gary: No, I'm not crazy and a lot of times people go "Oh that's crazy!" then they go "It's genius!" That's what happened to the person who invented fire. They burned that witch and guess what, then they got warm and they ate good stuff. Now where are we headed to. Let's not make this weird, 'cause I'm not good on dates...
Mom, Mom! Please, you are so weird, don't do this to me.Rudy
Grace: Oh, God.
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.
Dewey Finn: Now, what makes you mad more than anything in the world?
[sees Billy who has his hand raised]
Dewey Finn: Billy?
Dewey Finn: Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you!
Dewey Finn: Okay, you see me after class
If nagging were an Olympic sport, my Aunt Voula would win a gold medal!Toula Portokalos
But you're sayin'... what are ya sayin'?Stan Grossman
Quit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you.Bartleby
"Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened to New York City.Ollie
Howard Weinstein: [on the phone] Mr. Banks, this is Howard Weinstein. Franck's Executive Assistant. I... ave... your estimate for you.
George Banks: I can barely hear you!
Howard Weinstein: I'm in my car going through Water Canyon. Call you back?
George Banks: No, no, no. I want the estimate. How much? What's the damage?
Howard Weinstein: Well, everything from the flowers, to the honeymoon limo...
George Banks: Ok, everything. How much?
Howard Weinstein: [cutting out] - dred and - ifty a -ead.
George Banks: You're breaking up. It sounded like you said 150 ahead.
Howard Weinstein: No, no!
George Banks: Good. I was about to kill myself.
Howard Weinstein: It's 250 ahead.
I've got culture coming out of my ass.Freddy Benson