Favorite Comedy Quotes
Stan: The laws are medieval down here. Do you know what the minimum age for execution is in Alabama?
Bill: What, sixteen?
I've seen better acting in a porno.Mark
Can I have a slice of your doody?Steve Barker
[to Lynn in cafeteria] Can I have a hug?Steve Barker
You scratched my CD! You picked it up in pure daylight and you scratched it!Billy
Thomas: Should I wear my top up ...
[lifts top up]
Thomas: ... or down?
[pulls top down]
Thomas: Or up!
[pulls top up again]
Thomas: Or possibly... tucked in?
[tucks in top]
Smooth move, Ajax.Rudy
SCRATCH! SCRAAAAAAAAATCH! Oh my stars of the love of Liza. You scratch my C-D!Billy
Special Olympics Athlete: You're a faker.
Thomas: A mother-faker!
Steve Barker: Jeffy doesn't understand! Jeffy cocoa for cuckoo pops, uhh... Jeffy...
Special Olympics Athlete: Shut up you stupid a-s-s!
Lynn Sheridan: [to David] Go away, asshole!
Billy: [laughs] Lynn said A hole with S's!
Glen: Hi I'm Glen. Guess how many fingers I have?
Glen: No. I have eight and two thumbs.
Glen: I work at Burger King.
Gary: You want fries with that.