Favorite Comedy Quotes
Penny Lane: Maybe it is love, as much as it can be, for somebody...
William Miller: Somebody who sold you to Humble Pie for 50 bucks and a case of beer! I was there! I was there! Look ... I'm sorry.
Penny Lane: [pauses] What kind of beer?
This entire jungle is a house of death!Horton
Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.Elwood
[drives the Bluesmobile through a guardrail]
Elias: The Transformers are a gift from God, Randal!
Randal Graves: Oh no, sir. The Transformers are a curse from the beast we call The Desolate One.
It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."Mr. Ryan
Jerry: Hey, great gift dad.
Fletcher: Thanks son. I'm so glad my gift can bring the two of them together. My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
Don't blame marriage. She's married and she's not growing a national forest.Samantha Jones
Let's deflower the kid.Polexia Aphrodisia
Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman.
Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
Stay in school!Kelly
Jerry, enjoy my wife.Fletcher
This an outrage! I demand a full investigation!Mortimer Duke