Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
Jay: What buzz?
Holden: The Internet buzz.
Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?
Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

Doyle: It's hopeless. We'll never get past the guards.
Roy: Well, not with that attitude, we won't.

Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids!

Jimmy: She's ain’t my girlfriend. She's a prostitute.
Ken: I am not aware that there are any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places. Brothels are good.

Julien: [King Julian has popped out from a cake] Hey, surprise, freaks! I am coming with you!
Alex: Oh ho ho, no, thank you.
Julien: Oh, *yes*, thank you. It is *my* plane!

[about Sacajawea]
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...

Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!


It walks... like a man!


This concludes our broadcast day. Click.

Chip Douglas

It isn't that I'm sorry I killed them; it's that I'm sorry I killed them badly.

Frank Falenczyk

Buddy: You're a fake.
Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
Buddy: Yes!
Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.
Buddy: You stink.
Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.

Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Frank Drebin: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.

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