Favorite Comedy Quotes
College women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.Joel Goodson
What say, you, we go out on the town and swing, baby? Yeah!Austin Powers
What up with thee.Bruce
Burton Mercer: This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode of one Elwood Blues.
Officer Mount: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Mercer.
Burton Mercer: You know, I kind of like the Wrigley Field bit.
Officer Mount: Yeah, real cute.
Inigo Montoya: Excuse... Excuse me... Excuse me... Fezzik, please?
Fezzik: EVERYBODY... MOVE! [everybody parts, path is clear]
Inigo Montoya: Thank you.
[makes out with Danielle]
Venetia: Oh no, she didn't?
Sissy: Oh yes she did!
Venetia: [commenting on Ling-Ling's hot outfit] Girlfriend's booty be all wrapped up in licious!
Sissy: All wrapped up.
Ling Ling: You're pretty dope and phat yourselves
[to Steve] I don't care if you leave this second!Laurie Henderson
Was it morally wrong to exploit our knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? That hot tub time machine turned us into kings!Lou
Peter's another name for weaner.Steve Barker
Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No there's not.
I know I don't have his looks. I know I don't have his money. I know I don't have his connections, his knowledge of fine wines. I know sometimes when I eat I get this clicking sound in my jaw...Wayne Campbell