Favorite Comedy Quotes
Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.Earl Bassett
Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!Earl Bassett
We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!Valentine McKee
Valentine McKee: What the hell's in those things, Burt?
Burt Gummer: A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.
So we're stuck here. That pisses me off.Earl Bassett
Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis: Madrid.
Woody Stevens: Spain?
Doug Madsen: Remember the theme of this trip, whenever wherever?
Woody Stevens: Oh, fine, whatever. We'll stay the night and get gas in the morning. Okay?
Doug Madsen: Fine, I just don't understand what the rush is.
Woody Stevens: There's no rush! I just wanna ride, just ride Sally ride. You are so weird! You ask some weird shit and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?
Earl Bassett: [digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mitts on this for no 15 bucks.
Valentine McKee: You got that right!
Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!
The only thing I'm doing with my eyes is putting a bag over your head, you toothless moron!Chuck Levine
Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.Cher
Cher: Oh look, Josh is dancing with Tai, he never dances.
Christian: I can see why.