And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.

Reg Hartner

Brodie: Oh my God. Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for.
Jay: What? Since when?
Brodie: See, here's the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

Justice: Hi, I'm Justice.
Jay: And I'm so fucking yours.

Sissy: Your shit is really getting tired, Justice.
Justice: Call me 'Boo-Boo-Kitty-Fuck', bitch.

Hey. Get the fuck off her. That's my ex-girlfriend's monkey.

Jay

Willenholly: Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Jay: Look, man. She doesn't want to go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
Willenholly: And for the record, while we're one the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
Jay: And for one more record, he loves the cock.

Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's retarded to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you retarded.

Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms," yo!

Jay

I don't get out to the movies that much, but "Bluntman and Chronic" was blunt-tastic.

Whillenholly

Randal Graves: That was definitely worse than "Clash of the Titans."
Dante Hicks: I can't believe Judi Dench played me.
Randal Graves: Remind me to renew that restraining order.
Dante Hicks: Why?
Randal Graves: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the Internet tonight.

Customer at Quick Stop: Are you even supposed to be here today?
Dante Hicks: Don't get me started.

Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

Holden

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