Harry, your heart attack could be the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Erica Barry

When something happens to you that hasn't happened before, don't you at least have to find out what it is?

Julian Mercer

Erica Barry: Ahh!
Harry: [Seeing Erica] Oh!! Oh.
Erica Barry: No! STOP!
Harry: OH! OOH!
Erica Barry: [hides behind door] AAHH! STOP!
Harry: [covers his eyes] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God... am I sorry.
Erica Barry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Harry: I'm sorry! I didn't see anything... Just your tits.

Lani Aliikai: [Cody and Lani wash off under a waterfall] Can I ask you something personal?
Cody Maverick: Lani, we're in the shower! Ask me whatever you want.

The stress is killing me.

Mikey Abromowitz

You wouldn't believe the amount of migraine medication I'm on..

Mikey Abromowitz

[reaches out to catch some rainwater in a water gourd in the treehouse that serves as his residence] Sure-fire remedy - learned it from an old medicine man... works every time.

Big Z

I know talent when I see it - TALENT! Once, I was rehearsing birds - toucans - for this musical review in Brazil...

Mikey Abromowitz

Cody Maverick: [he and Big Z are hanging upside down] When do we begin training?
Big Z: What does it look like we're doing?
Cody Maverick: It looks like we're acting like a couple of fools.
Big Z: See? You're learning.

This here is for my special lady. Lia. I'm gonna say that one more time. Lia.

Tank Evans

Holden: Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know, and he got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you?
Hooper: Who said that?
Holden: I did! Lando Calrissian is a strong role model in the realm of science fiction and fantasy.
Hooper: Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom nigger!

Silent Bob: You're chasing Amy.
Holden: [shocked that Silent Bob spoke] What? What did you say?
Silent Bob: You're chasing Amy.
Jay: What do you look so shocked for, man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just 'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have this huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth...
Silent Bob: Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time, you're givin' me a fuckin' headache.
[to Holden]
Silent Bob: I went through something like what you're talkin' 'bout, 'couple years ago, this chick named Amy.
Jay: When?
Silent Bob: A couple of years ago?

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