[upon waking up after the first night of training, next to a deer he killed with his teet] Oh no, not again!

Barry Badrinath

I always sleep better with a little sausage in me.

Great Gam Gam

Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.

I'll show you how to chug a beer, mother fucker!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?

Barry Badrinath: [about the past] Come on, buddy. Can we bury the hatchet? I mean, we both know your wife just sat there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to MARRY that plastic fuck doll!

I'm just lookin' for a little slap and pickle!

Barry Badrinath

Yeah, you Americans, why don't you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!

Otto

Jan Wolfhouse: [after trying the beer] What's wrong?
Todd Wolfhouse: This means Great Gam Gam really was a whore.
Jan Wolfhouse: [thinks about it for a second, then runs off with his ears covererd] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...

Look at the size of that graduated cylinder!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.

Todd Wolfhouse

Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

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