Favorite Comedy Quotes
Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.
Say what you will about Jesus, but leave "The Rings" alone.Elias
You gotta be as blind as Anne Frank not to see that.Randal Graves
Yo, you guys are gonna miss this shit! The big guy's gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!Jay
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.
I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.Hobbit Lover
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!
Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.Randal Graves
What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?Dante Hicks
I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.Randal Graves
[Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.Elliot