Nacho: It sucks to be me right now!
Esqueleto: How come?
Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he's a real douche.

Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win!
Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!

See that guy over there? That is Senior Ramon, he owns all the big arenas. We need to show him that we mean business. That we are ready for the 'big leagues'.

Nacho

Nacho: These are my recreation clothes.
Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.
Nacho: Thank you.

[singing] I ate some bugs, I ate some grass, I used my hand, to wipe my tears.

Nacho

Nacho: Those guys were a couple of wussies, eh?
Esqueleto: They scalped my hairs, okay? I look hideous. And you gave them permission to hurt me like this.
Nacho: But I couldn't have anybody see my face, Steven. Come on!

Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher: [class: "Are!"] And what they...
Teacher: [class: "Mean to us!"] Excellent droning.

Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not Mommy!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!

That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke.

Maya

"Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened to New York City.

Ollie

Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [thinking hard] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.

George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex." Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?

Ollie

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