Favorite Comedy Quotes
Bruce: Mitch, girl go pee-pee not something I want to see-see.
Ox: I agree-gree.
I looked it up in the dictionary... it wasn't in there.JB
"Rock 'n' roll can save the world"? "The chicks are great"? I sound like a dick!Jeff Bebe
Chunk: Look at this. They've got Misissippi Mud and they've got Chocolate Eruption and they've got what?
Chunk: It's a stiff.
Sergeant Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!
John Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.
Loki: I forgot my little voodoo doll. Wow. It really does look just like you. Maybe, if I believed enough...
[pauses, then crushes voodoo doll of Whitland, who is terrified but unharmed]
Loki: I don't believe in voodoo. [leaves, re-enters with a gun] But I do believe in this.
Isabel Bigelow: [after quitting/being fired] I can't just walk back in there now.
Jack Wyatt: Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I've done it a lot of times.
Try to be your normal, humorous self. The guy you were before the tailspin. Do you remember that guy? People love that guy.Jack
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-assed monkey suits.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.
WHAT is going on? Mr. Pottery class... nice to meet ya.Nikki
Buttercup: You can die too for all I care!
Westley: As... you... wish!
Buttercup: Oh my Westley! What have I done?
And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.Roy