Favorite Comedy Quotes
Cartman: Kyle, all those times I called you a stupid Jew, I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.
Kyle: Yes I am, Cartman! I *am* a Jew!
Cartman: No, no, don't be so hard on yourself.
Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
Cartman: You bet your fuckin' ass it was!
Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip!
Stan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest.
Homeless man: Six tickets please!
You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!Kyle
The day is mine!Satan
Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.Newscaster
Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?Cartman
What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?The Mole
Kyle: Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff.
Sheila Broflovski: ...if it's war they want, it's war they'll have!
Cartman: This is fucking weak..
Kyle: You cant die! We don't know where we are!
The Mole: You must go on...
Kyle: No, we have no fucking clue where we are!