Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Let's get sour on some Krauts!

Gil

Hammacher: We are gonna wipe our schwanz on you.
Jan Wolfhouse: Bring it on meine bitch.

I don't believe in God, I believe in science.

Esqueleto

Sister Encarnación: Wrestling is ungodly Ignacio. People cheer for him... and he is a false idol.
Nacho: Whatever.

Nacho: Those eggs were a lie, Esqueleto. A LIE! They give me no eagle powers! The give me no nutrients!
Esqueleto: Sorry.
Nacho: I don't want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!

Nacho: It sucks to be me right now!
Esqueleto: How come?
Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he's a real douche.

Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win!
Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!

Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?

Nacho

See that guy over there? That is Senior Ramon, he owns all the big arenas. We need to show him that we mean business. That we are ready for the 'big leagues'.

Nacho

Nacho: These are my recreation clothes.
Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.
Nacho: Thank you.

Nacho: Those guys were a couple of wussies, eh?
Esqueleto: They scalped my hairs, okay? I look hideous. And you gave them permission to hurt me like this.
Nacho: But I couldn't have anybody see my face, Steven. Come on!

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