Favorite Comedy Quotes
See that guy over there? That is Senior Ramon, he owns all the big arenas. We need to show him that we mean business. That we are ready for the 'big leagues'.Nacho
Nacho: These are my recreation clothes.
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: They look expensive.
Nacho: Thank you.
Nacho: Those guys were a couple of wussies, eh?
Esqueleto: They scalped my hairs, okay? I look hideous. And you gave them permission to hurt me like this.
Nacho: But I couldn't have anybody see my face, Steven. Come on!
Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher: [class: "Are!"] And what they...
Teacher: [class: "Mean to us!"] Excellent droning.
Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not Mommy!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!
Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie: You gettin' a dog?
That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke.Maya
"Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened to New York City.Ollie
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex." Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?Ollie
Okay, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.Boy
Try acting like a father, shithead.Bart