Favorite Comedy Quotes
Gentlemen start your engines! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!Neil Patrick Harris
Prince Edward: Giselle!
[leaps off a bridge, begins to sing]
Prince Edward: I've been dreaming...
[cyclists collide with him]
Prince Edward: Ow.
He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife.Al Czervik
Linda: I can fly.
George: You can't fly!
Linda: I believe I can fly.
George: If you're going to get literal with an R. Kelly song, do Trapped in the Closet...
I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.Peter Gibbons
[on the phone] I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.Elaine Miller
I got to get into this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.Carl Spackler
Sarah Marshall: I hate your music.
Aldous Snow: Yeah well, I fucked the housekeeper the other day.
Saul Silver: Look, only reason I started selling pot is so I could put my bubbie in a nice retirement home.
Dale Denton: Oh, yeah, she must be proud of you for that.
Saul Silver: She is really proud of me, and I'm gonna become something, man! As soon as she dies, I'm gonna become a civil engineer. I'm gonna design septic tanks for playgrounds. Little kids can take shits! You idiot, what the hell do you do?
Jackie: Lula, a snack?
Lula: You always complainin'. It's hot. I'm hungry.
Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
Scott Pilgrim: Seven.
Stacey Pilgrim: Well, that's not that bad.
Oh, my God. It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.Colonel Sandurz