Favorite Comedy Quotes
Well, that's good thinking.Droz
All right right, whaddya need? Bottle rockets, dental dams, Redi Wips, term papers?Droz
Please have a party! Feed us drinks!Droz
Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can't control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man's job!
President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn't provoked them, we wouldn't BE in this mess!
Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!
Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters...
Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?
Hey monkeys, how about a little respect. The presiding person of the university just walked in.Droz
We need kegs. Multiple, cold and domestic.Droz
President Garcia-Thompson: You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day. You installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps and, most recently, you dumped 100 pounds of... MEAT on a peaceful vegan protest!
Droz: Oh, come on! That was way more than 100 pounds.
Go to sleep! Why won't you just go to sleep!Droz
You're an idiot, don't you ever make me wait outside the door again!Rand
Droz: Hi, is Sam in there?
Womynist #1: "In there" ... What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Womynist #2: Yeah, cock-man-oppressor!
Droz: Why, thank you. Could you just tell her that Mr. Pokey stopped by.