Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along.


Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Jim: Sherman? The Sherminator?

Bo Peep: [amorously] You're cute when you care.
Woody: [embarrassed] Bo. Not in front of Buzz.

Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

She's got CANKLES!


Since we been followin' your lead, we ain't got nothing but trouble.


Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.

Jack Byrnes: What are you guys doing in here?
Larry: Looks like rounding second base.

Rabbi Jake Schram: You're in love with her?
Father Brian Finn: [to himself] No one seems to have picked up on this. It's very strange.

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, no, I can't say I have.

Topper Harley: You're joking.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: I'm not.
Topper Harley: You've got to be.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: If I was joking I would say: "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"

What is your damage, Heather?

Veronica Sawyer

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