Favorite Comedy Quotes
Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.Roy
Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.
Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this.
Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.Ernie McCracken
One more time, sweetness.Ernie McCracken
The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine.Roy
Some corn stalks were broken and I tried to fix them.Ishmael
You have smoked yourself retarded.Thurgood Jenkins
I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too.Thurgood Jenkins
I love weed. LOVE IT. Probably always will! But not as much as I love pussy! The end.Thurgood Jenkins
Thurgood Jenkins: Oh my goodness! Now that is a titty! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Brian: Bully! That's a certified fully!
You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!Kenny
Squirrel Master: Back up Nasty Nate, this my bitch!
Nasty Nate: Better watch your back Fish! Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time. Next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail... FRUIT!
Kenny: Here take it! I'm somebody's bitch!