Jake: Disco pants and haircuts...
Elwood: Yeah, lots of space in this mall.

Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges!

Judith

Gopher, Everett?

Delmar O'Donnell

He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife.

Al Czervik

Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Alan Garner

Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."

I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.

Eddie

... I got nothing.

Silent Bob

I'm throwing seven different kinds of smoke!

Dupree

Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Well, it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.

Hitch: Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.'
Albert: [making holding gestures at different levels] Okay... Friends. Ass. Me.

One day, lady superspy Susan Cooper, I will fuck you.

Aldo

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