Mike Damone: You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy.

Fuck Facebook in the face!

Ira Wright

Yo lunchbox, hurry it up.


Celebrities beat cancer all the time. Lance Armstrong, he keeps getting it.


Dionne: Phat! Did you write that?
Cher: Duh. It's like a famous quote.
Dionne: From where?
Cher: Cliff's Notes.

Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
Adam: [Trying too hard to be scary] WEEEE'RE GHOOOOOOOOOOSTS!

Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout fine piece of ass?
Justice: How 'bout not.
Jay: Then what the fuck am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya big goof. Something nice.
Jay: Boo boo kitty fuck?
Justice: That's... a start.

We got personality, with a capital Y. Why? Because we're hot!


Have you ever watched pornographic videos?

Jack Byrnes

Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.
Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Chip Douglas

Ace: OK, all looks good, you know, you never really know until you check things out yourself.
Fulton Greenwall: Well, aren't you going to go investigate?

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