Favorite Comedy Quotes
Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?Cocaine Addict
Guy on the Couch: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood Jenkins: No, it's August.
Guy on the Couch: Really?
Scarface: You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace!
Thurgood Jenkins: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story.
Thurgood Jenkins: I be from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy.
Samson Simpson: What part of Jamaica?
Thurgood Jenkins: Right near da beach. Boy-eeee!
Brian: Lady, seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five.
Record Store Customer: Ugh-huh, he autographed it himself.
Brian: All right, I'll give you four.
So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.Thurgood Jenkins
Abba Zaba, you my only friend.Thurgood Jenkins
I didn't know that horse was a diabetic!Kenny
Scarface: I got it! Why don't we sell that weed that we smoked earlier!
Thurgood Jenkins: We suggested that already!
Scarface: For real, B?
Thurgood Jenkins: [to Mary Jane] Listen, I really like you. I was just wondering maybe if you're interested we can go out later and get some ice cream or something...
Scarface: OOH! MOTHER FUCKER SAID ICE CREAM!
Brian: BLAH BLAH ICE CREAM! YOU'RE SUCH A DORK, MAN!
Thurgood Jenkins: Damn!
Thurgood Jenkins: Guys just shut up about the weed for two seconds, I don't want this girl to know I smoke.
Scarface: Yeah it's bad enough you a janitor yo.
Thurgood Jenkins: Custodian, dick!
I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.Thurgood Jenkins