Favorite Comedy Quotes
Rita: Have you ever had dÃ©jÃ -vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?
Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.Phil
Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to.Phil
This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Well, it used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to EAT it. You're hypocrites, all of you! You have a problem with what I'm saying, Larry?Phil Connors
Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of armored truck and walks into the bank]
This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.Phil
It's so beautiful!... Let's live here. [he kisses Rita] We'll rent, to start.Phil
Rita: I always drink to world peace.
Phil: I'd like to drink to world peace.
Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life.
Phil: Mine too.
Rita: Mine too.
Ned: Where are we going?
Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it!
[to the groundhog] Don't drive angry. Do not drive angry.Phil
Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.Phil
Ned: "Needle-nose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson? I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson!