Favorite Comedy Quotes
Kenny Fisher: Yo, I'm just pausin' while those two hos over there scratch it out over who gets to knock the boots with me!
Kenny Fisher: Ya know what I'm saying? Yeah!
Ritchie Koolboy: What two ho's?
DJ Sammy: I don't see no ho's yo.
They're bad dudes. That's why they call the game "Bad Dudes."Gil
Edward 'Eddie' Simmons: When you're making out, which do you prefer, Sinatra or Mathis?
Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell: I like Presley.
Me and Elwood are gonna make a break for it. Take $1,400 and give it to Ray's Music Exchange in Calumet City. Give the rest to the band.Jake
Kirk Lazarus: Action Jackson can't cry, that's what's going down.
Tugg Speedman: You know what Kirk, I'm ready to do the scene!
Kirk Lazarus: Now it's time to flip the script! I'm gonna have to wait till Chinese New Year for my man to cry.
Everytime I see a bag of Hershey's Kisses my balls get so wet.Neil Patrick Harris
[about Mitch] It seems all his best lines were yours... this is unbearable.Marie
Kate Veatch: I'm not a banker, I'm a lawyer.
Peter La Fleur: Really? What kind of law are you involved in, pretty eyes?
Kate Veatch: Sexual harassment, mostly.
Charles: Tom, are you the richest man in England?
Tom: Oh, no. We're... like, seventh.
Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.Bartleby
Shaun: It's not that I don't wanna spend time with you, cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.
Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?
[narrating] Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." You could look it up.Annie Savoy