Favorite Comedy Quotes
Annie: What? What's that face?
George: It's nothing.
Annie: Oh, this is going cost you more money.
George: No. It's just... I know I'll remember this moment, for the rest of my life.
George: Annie, it's a little nippy out, you might want to put on a sweater.
Annie: Dad, it's okay, I'm kinda warm.
George: Still, there's a chill in the air and you've been on a plane.
Annie: Dad, I'm fine.
Bryan: Annie, it is kinda cold out.
Annie: It is?
Annie: All right, thanks, I'll get my jacket.
Matty Banks: Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
George: You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents and your mother.
Annie: Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding?
I just wanna say that I'm an upstanding citizen. I've never been engaged before. I've never really been in love before. And I think Annie's the greatest person I've ever met. And I can't wait to marry her and one day have children, and grand children. And I'm going to do my best to be supportive of her dreams. She's a very gifted architect. I'm just thrilled that I met her. I love your daughter. The feelings I have for her are never gonna change. I'm here to stay.Bryan
Howard Weinstein: [on the phone] Mr. Banks, this is Howard Weinstein. Franck's Executive Assistant. I... ave... your estimate for you.
George Banks: I can barely hear you!
Howard Weinstein: I'm in my car going through Water Canyon. Call you back?
George Banks: No, no, no. I want the estimate. How much? What's the damage?
Howard Weinstein: Well, everything from the flowers, to the honeymoon limo...
George Banks: Ok, everything. How much?
Howard Weinstein: [cutting out] - dred and - ifty a -ead.
George Banks: You're breaking up. It sounded like you said 150 ahead.
Howard Weinstein: No, no!
George Banks: Good. I was about to kill myself.
Howard Weinstein: It's 250 ahead.
This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months. Well, actually for the past 22 years.George
Who presents this woman? This woman? But she's not a woman. She's just a kid. And she's leaving us. I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again and see Annie at the top of the stairs. Never going to see her again at our breakfast table in her nightgown and socks. I suddenly realized what was happening. Annie was all grown up and was leaving us, and something inside began to hurt.George
George: [answering the phone] Hello?
George: Hi! Where are you?
Annie: At the airport. Our plane's about to take off, but I couldn't leave without saying goodbye. Thank Mom for everything ok? Dad, I love you. I love you very much.
George: I love you too, sweetheart. Thanks for calling. And have a great honeymoon.
Annie: Thanks. I will. Bye.
George: I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own, my daughter's. Annie Banks Mackenzie. That's her married name: Mackenzie. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. Then comes the day when she wants to get her ears pierced, and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. From that moment on you're in a constant panic. You worry about her meeting the wrong kind of guy, the kind of guy who only wants one thing, and you know exactly what that one thing is, because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then, you stop worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. That's the greatest fear of all, because, then you lose her. It was just six months ago that that happened here. Just six months ago, that the storm broke.
George: I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. George Banks is saying NO!
Stock Boy: Who's George Banks?
Well, that's the thing about life, is the surprises, the little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you.George
Steve: This is great I never win at checkers.
Mike: Well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!