Favorite Comedy Quotes
Lloyd: Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Flo, Waitress #1: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.
Cassandra: Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped.
Wayne Campbell: Interesting. Where did you learn English?
Cassandra: College... and the Police Academy movies.
Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy.John
You look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad!Paulette
Dale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"
He helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho, he helped Daniel get out the lion's den, he helped Gilligan get off the island.Rev. Brown
MacGruber: Your companion is a very beautiful young woman.
Dieter Von Cunth: Thank you.
MacGruber: I hope you enjoy being date raped, ma'am.
Dieter Von Cunth: This is my daughter.
Peter Highman: "Number 2: if you're allergic to waffles, don't eat waffles!"
Ethan Tremblay: "Then don't take me to a waffle house!"
Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.Seth
Bobby: "Oh yeah, we've got to trim some of the fat around here."
Kurt: "What do you mean by trim the fat?"
Bobby: "I want you to fire the fat people."
Bobby: "They're lazy and they're slow and they make me sad to look at."
Sara: So, you kinda like me, huh?
Hitch: No. I love you.
The Stranger: There's just one thing, Dude.
The Dude: And what's that?
The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the fuck you talking about?
The Stranger: Okay, Dude. Have it your way.