Favorite Comedy Quotes
Chunk: How's this?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
Brandon Walsh: If God made it that way, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.
D+?... Oh, my God... I passed! I passed! Oh, man! I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate! [hugs a stranger] I wish we'd known each other... this is a little awkward.Tommy
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: [holds rock] I could kill you now.
Man in Black: Okay... but, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
Ron Burgundy: Linda Jackson, how are you my friend?
[Shakes hand of Linda's male assistant]
GNN Anchor: This is Linda.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, black… Black
Brian Fantana: Ron!
Ron Burgundy: Black!
The Coach: Can he still play?
Trainer: He's in a coma!
The Coach: Answer the question!
Grandma: What happened to that nice girlfriend of yours?
Happy Gilmore: Oh, She got hit by a car, she's dead.
The last time I wore skates, they had Barbies on them.Bliss Cavendar
George Downes: Why don't we stop and have a drink? You can take a later flight.
Julianne Potter: No, no, no, no. I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella and I haven't one clue how to do it.
Dewey Finn: Look the first thing you do when you start a band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band you want to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Marta: Christina Aguilera
Dewey Finn: Who? No. Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Leonard: Puff Daddy
Dewey Finn: Wrong. Billy?
Billy: Liza Minnelli?
Hey guys, welcome to the party. If you're gonna have sex, please - do it in my parent's bedroom.Preston
Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!
Amber Von Tussle: Aren't you a little fat for the show?
Tracy Turnblad: I'm sure many of the other home viewers out there are pleasantly plump or chunky.
Amber Von Tussle: Come on. The show's not filmed in Cinemascope.