Favorite Comedy Quotes
Roy: Lord, help me. Just let me know you're there. Love me, hate me, but let me know you're up there.
Roy: Hey, I can see our hotel from here. Wow.
Hey guys, welcome to the party. If you're gonna have sex, please - do it in my parent's bedroom.Preston
Someone wants me. Someone roaming the streets, wants ME... Will you turn the corner?Curt Henderson
Audrey Griswold: [Looking at Vicki's trophy for hog raising] Uh, don't take this personally, Vicki; but being a farmer isn't too cool you know.
Cousin Vicki: Oh, yeah? Well, how cool is this?
Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.Gil
Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!
Ace: Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.
You forgot your boarding pass.Marcus Burnett
Pam Byrnes: Greg Honey, how are you doing?
Greg Focker: Oh great, considering I desecrated your Grandma's remains, found out you were engaged, and had your Father ask me to milk him.
Charles: Yes, it's odd, isn't it? All these years we've been single and proud of it and never noticed that two of us were, in effect, married all this time.
Tom: Traitors in our midst.
Van Wilder: Blue - it brings out your eyes. The kid has killer eyes, not unlike yourself - anyone ever tell you that?
Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend.
Van Wilder: Your boyfriend? What's his name?
Gwen: I don't think that's any of your business.
Van Wilder: [Puts on sunglasses and turns away] You're right
Congratulations, Kate. I want to reward you with five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact.Barry