Favorite Comedy Quotes
[Brodie's voice] One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.Brodie
Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.Miranda Hobbes
Jake: Disco pants and haircuts...
Elwood: Yeah, lots of space in this mall.
Doc, none of us could remember anything from last night. Remember?Alan Garner
Don't you people have jobs?Judge Smails
He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.Inigo Montoya
I don't break character until the DVD commentary.Kirk Lazarus
If the pigs were gathering in Vegas, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Las Vegas hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America. Why not? Move confidently into their midst.Raoul Duke
I'm a god. I'm not THE God... I don't think.Phil
Yearbook Girl: Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook.
Kenny Fisher: No, thanks. No time.
Yearbook Girl: Come on. Where's your school spirit? Go, Hot Dogs!
DJ Sammy: Bitch, get a life!
If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail - peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm *right*, and we *can* stop this thing... Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.Dr. Peter Venkman
Marlin: So, we're cheating death now, that's what we're doing, and we're having fun at the same time, I can do this, just be careful...
Dory: Yeah, be careful I don't make you cry when I win!
Marlin: Oh, I don't think so!
Dory: Give it up old man, you can't fight evolution, I was built for speed!
Marlin: The question is Dory, are you hungry?
Dory: Hungry? Why?
Marlin: 'Cause you're about to eat my bubbles!