Favorite Comedy Quotes
Chuck: After I got back, I went through a rough time. Drinkin' booze, shootin' holes in the ceilin', screamin' myself to sleep... Finally, my parents said I had to move out.
Dave Buznik: So I'm guessing that's when you decided to shack up with your aunt.
Chuck: Don't get cute, wise ass... But, yes.
He was wondering how a man weighing 600 pounds could teach people about self-discipline.
Dr. Buddy Rydell
By the way, I like to sleep in the nude.
Dr. Buddy Rydell
Judge: You think you can help him?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Yep. And if I can't, I'll tear him apart with my bare hands.
Shaun: It's not that I don't wanna spend time with you, cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.
Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?
Shaun: Don't point that gun at my mum!
Ed: Don't point that gun at Barbara!
Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
[after Shaun hits zombie with butt of rifle] Why didn't you just shoot him?
David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.
Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!
Shaun
Ed, this is serious!
Shaun
