Favorite Comedy Quotes
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: Ignacio, I have been looking all over for you, where have you been?
Nacho: I have been here. I have been sleeping.
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: In a frilly shirt and slacks?
Nacho: They are my PJ's
Nicholas Angel: You don't mind a bit of manpower, do ya Doris?
PC Doris Thatcher: [laughing] Oh, cheeky bastard!
Marlin: So, we're cheating death now, that's what we're doing, and we're having fun at the same time, I can do this, just be careful...
Dory: Yeah, be careful I don't make you cry when I win!
Marlin: Oh, I don't think so!
Dory: Give it up old man, you can't fight evolution, I was built for speed!
Marlin: The question is Dory, are you hungry?
Dory: Hungry? Why?
Marlin: 'Cause you're about to eat my bubbles!
[a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.Columbus
Y'know, they're hookers. So it's fine.Ted
Let's face it, the kids aren't exactly dressing up as The Scorcher for Purim anymore.Les Grossman
No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.Billy Madison
Hooper: Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the fuckin' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the fuck do you call that?
Banky Edwards: Intergalactic civil war?
Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy 'safe' for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky Edwards: Well... isn't that true?
Excuse me. I think I had better be where other people are not.Charles
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toite, Austin Power's fahza.
Dr. Evil: His what?
Number 2: His fahza, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: His farger? What's a farger?
Goldmember: His fahza. You know, the fahza.
Dr. Evil: You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch. Okay, perv boy?
Goldmember: Fahza, his dad, dad is fahza.
Dr. Evil: Oh, his dad. His FA-THER.
Dr. Evil: The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.
Get in loser, we're going shopping.Regina