Favorite Comedy Quotes
Shaun: Hey guys, what's up?
Chad: Hey, what's up dude? Hey dude, check this out. Last night we're at this party, and little Arlo here,he decides to like confess his undying love to me. Did I tell ya he was a fruitcake or what?
Arlo: Bro, that's not true. This is the real story dude. Chad crashed at my house right, and I woke up in the night, he wa fondling my...
Chad: Dude, I lost my keys. I was looking for 'em.
[as his evil sawn-off hand gives him the finger] Son of a...!Ash
Kirk: What is this power you have to control the minds of my crew?
ybok: I don't control minds. I free them.
Duty Cop: Detailed description?
Jessica Wilhern: Brown hair. Brown eyes.
Jessica Wilhern: A uniquely pleasant personality.
Franklin Wilhern: Think pig.
Duty Cop: So she's a fat girl?
You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.Dr. Gonzo
Eddie Cantrow: This is my dad.
Lila: Oh, hi Dad.
Doc: Nice to meet you, Lila.
Lila: How do you know my name?
Doc: Okay, cat's out of the bag. My son found your panties on the sidewalk and we've been talking about you all week. Eddie, give her back her undies.
Prince Edward: [talking to TV] Magic Mirror. I beg you. Tell me where she is!
Reporter: [on TV] Reporting live from 116th and Broadway.
Prince Edward: 116th and Broadway! Thank you mirror!
Thurgood Jenkins: You know I got some weed at work today, if y'all wanna try it out.
Scarface: Nah, we don't feel like smokin' right now.
Thurgood Jenkins: Me neither. So y'all wanna smoke?
Scarface: I'll get Billy Bong Thornton!
Brian: No man. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That wouldn't be right. Get Wesley Pipes. Yeah!
Ian Miller: How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
Nick: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡."
Ian Miller: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡." [English translation: "Nice boobs."]
Pam Byrnes: What's the matter sweetie? Can't sleep?
Greg Focker: No, no. I was just going over my answers to the polygraph test your dad just gave me.
Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are.Maya
It’s just drinking games and bonding, why is that so painful for you?Jenko